Missing you
by speakingwordsofwisdom
Summary: A glinda based monologue, on how she feels now she believes Elphaba is dead.Better than i make it sound here lol


**My second ever Wicked ficlet!!!!!! This was originally gonna be a short song fic based on...well, I hadn't quite picked the song yet but whatever, it just felt like it SHOULD be longer, so here you are!**

**Disclaimer: None. Why? Cos i'm the original owner. I can't believe all the characters got stolen when I went to Pizza Hut, along with my bag! I only left them on my chair for a second! Give them back, they're mine!!!**

**YAYYY i'm going to a seventies themed party on Saturday, Omigod I cant wait its gonna be so awesome!!!!!! Hmm, a Wicked ficlet somewhere in that perhaps???**

**I'll get back to you...**

* * *

Its twilight.

A silvery half light shrouds the emerald city and the surrounding country side, and the sky bleeds palest pink into palest blue at the edge of the horizon.

From here, from the roof of the clock tower, I can see almost all of the city that holds hope for so many, but instead I keep my eyes fixed upon the sky.

I don't need to look to see it- I know this view by heart, and it's hardly changed since last year or the year before that.

I know I will end this night alone, the same way it began.

Don't laugh at me, Elphie. I know you're not coming back.

And I know if you could, you'd tell me I should just accept it and get on with my life.

And I have. Really I have....

Every other day of the year, for the last three years, I've spent living with it, accepting it, thinking about it, about you...

Do you have any idea how hard it is without you, Elphie? Sometimes I like to imagine that if you'd known, you wouldn't have given yourself up.

That you'd have stayed alive for me.

But I know that's not fair, I know you had no choice.

It still doesn't change how much I miss you, or how much it hurts when I think about how I'll never have another day with you again, how the last words we spoke to each other were our goodbyes.

Because we knew that this time it was forever.

Elphie, do you still see me? Do you know about how I've come back here, to this roof, once a year on the same night every year? I can close my eyes, and listen to the clock chime just as it did before.

For a few precious seconds, I can almost believe that no time has passed at all.

It's like right after the first time you left, before you came back and went away, and came back one last time before you went away, this time forever.

I can remember exactly how it felt, when I watched you disappear out of sight behind the clouds, and again I can taste the same sharp regret at the back of my throat.

The second you were out of sight, that was the exact same second that I wished I could turn back the clock. If you'd asked me to come with you a second time, I would have gone without a backward glance...

Elphie...if I'd gone with you...would you still be alive today? You can be honest.

I really hope that isn't true, because I cant bear to think even for a second, that I could have made a different ending to all this...that if I'd done something different, you would still be alive and we'd still be together.

I can't bear to responsible for killing you, Elphie. I would have died for you, I would have done anything to keep you alive. I hope you know that.

Elphie. I love you.

There aren't words to express it. And there aren't words to express how angry I am at you, either.

Why, why did you go, right from the very first time, when we were just eighteen?

God, we were teenagers, what did you think you were capable of doing?

You could have stayed, you know.

That's what really burns me up, I mean, you didn't have to die!

Not for...whatever it was you died for!

You died for a dead cause, you took yourself away from me.

Elphie, I loved you more than I ever have or ever will love anyone, and I'd give my life a thousand times over just to see you once more.

You touched me deeper than anyone, you left a scar when you went away, it cuts me deeper than anything to know I'll never see you again.

Do you have any idea how just the simple act of staying alive is without you?

Whatever I do, you'll still be dead.

While i'm living with it, accepting it, when a few seconds go by when I somehow don't even think of you, you'll still be dead.

When I see you Elphie, i'm gonna kill you for messing me up like this.

And when I see you again...i can't imagine what I'll do because their won't be words to describe how blissfully, ecstatically happy I'll be, to know that you're okay.

Elphie, I wish I could find my eighteen year old self somewhere up here.

I could tell her not to make the mistake I did, I could tell her to grab at what might be her only chance at happiness ever with both hands and not let go, to not waste the precious time she still has with you.

I could let her be happy, even if I can't be.

I love you, Elphie. I'll be back again next year.

Goodbye.

**So what did you think????? Reviews please???? They make me happyyyyyy!!!!!!!**

**You know you want my virtual cookies....**


End file.
